Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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