just tell him i said nine months
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
