if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
