thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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