Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
