Umm I'm too high to move.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These tits shall not be calmed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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