If i come over, it means nothing
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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