Princesses don't give blow jobs
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
