He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
