put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
