my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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