Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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