Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
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the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
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This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm like, not good at living.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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