I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
