PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
