Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
