my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
