And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
