I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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