I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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