How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
