Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You dont lie about slip and slides
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
