its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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