let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
