piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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