That's intense
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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