so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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