I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
