ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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