I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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