so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
