with your own penis?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
