Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh god it's open bar.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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