Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Randomize
Follow @tfln