Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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