You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
