I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Randomize
