My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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