Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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