I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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