So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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