omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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