STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
