HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
