If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
