i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I cut my penus on the lid.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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