wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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