I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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