garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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