Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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