Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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