the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
