Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize