How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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