Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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