he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
