so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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