I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
