So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
