I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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