no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it because I queefed?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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