Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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