remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
