dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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