I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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