I feel great
I just peed on a car
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
