Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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