apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
